


Try for me, please

by Abby_moon15



Category: American Horror Story
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28026183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abby_moon15/pseuds/Abby_moon15
Summary: Lainey is a girl with a lot of troubles. 3 months ago she was pulled out of school because she tried to take her life. Her parents believe she is better and is sending her to school. But Lainey isn't better! Will she try and take her life again or will someone show her there's light at the end of the tunnelTate is the boy who has it all. He's got a big house, He's captain of the football team, He's dating the most popular girl in school. But for some reason that isn't enough to fill the hole inside his heart. But will that change once he meets a certain somebody or will it still not be enough?
Relationships: Tate Langdon/You
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

Late Night  
I turned my phone on to check the time. Great, it's 3 AM and I have to wake up for school in 3 hours. I can't sleep my mind is racing, thoughts about tomorrow and having to go back there, having to see them. I started school again tomorrow which I was dreading. I hadn't been to school since november; it's now January 

My brain keeps reminding me memories of what happened in November. I can see the flashbacks of me crying screaming at my parents telling them I hated school and that everyone there hated me. I remember the hurt I saw in their eyes but, I wanted them to feel hurt! My mum Jane is a nurse and I swear she never spends time with me anymore she's always going to shifts at night and sleeping during the day when she should be spending time with me. My dad John is out of the picture he left my mum and I not long after I was pulled out of school.

I know how horrible it sounds but, I'm glad that bastard is gone. He treated my mother terribly. I would always wake up at night and hear them fighting. Most nights I would cry myself to sleep, but I didn't want to feel weak. So I would open my window sit on my roof and look up at the stars. Looking at the stars reminded me that there's a whole other universe out there and that none of this matters. 

I open my window and sit onto the roof. I look up to the thousands of stars in the sky and instantly feel sane. Goosebumps started forming on my skin but I didn't care. I looked at the big full moon and grab the necklace around my neck. When I was twelve I was diagnosed with anxiety and my mother got me a necklace of the moon so, when I was having a anxiety attack the necklace would remind me of the night sky and comfort me. 

I can start feeling my eyes getting heavy and I slowly feel myself drifting asleep. I crawl back into my bed and pull up the covers and I instantly pass out once my head hits the pillow. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I wake up crying like always. It's always the same stupid nightmare. Every night when I go to bed I think about that night. It always starts out the same. 

I'm in my bathroom with my mums sleeping pills in my hand. She had heaps of them around the house to help her sleep when she wasn't working. I'm looking at myself in the mirror thinking to myself, If I take all of these I can go to sleep and I won't ever have to wake up. I won't have to face those assholes at school, I won't have to hear mum and dad fighting at night, I won't have to feel like this anymore, I will be free. 

I take the pills and slowly start to swallow them. I look at myself in the mirror and realise that i'm crying. I can't even stand to look at myself, how could someone ever love me? 

I crawl up into my bed and close my eyes. That was how it was supposed to go! I was supposed to close my eyes and never open them. But of course my mother found me and rushed me to the hospital before it was to late. I don't remember anything after my mother found me, I remember waking up in a hospital surrounded by doctors. I remember the sorrow and hurt in my mothers eyes. My father didn't even show up he said he "couldn't bare to see me like this" What a load of bullshit. I would think to myself. 

then my mother would say to me. "How could you do this to me Lainey. How could you leave us without saying goodbye." Her voice is barely a whisper. Instant guilt is sent around my body and that's when I wake up. I wake up in tears feeling guilty. I guess this is gods way of punishing me, making me have this reoccurring dream every night. I know that next time I will leave a note or something saying goodbye, and unlike last time my plan will work and I will die.

————————————————————————  
Hey guys Abby here!!! I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter ✌️ This is my first time doing anything like this so... please don't judge lol ✨

This story is very dark and I just want to let you guys know if you are going through anything this might not be the best story to read. I'm always happy to talked to you guys and have a chat if anyone needs it DONT BE SHY 🦹♀️

lots of love Abby x


	2. First day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lainey finally has her first day back at school since the incident. Nobody has seen her since and nobody knows why she left or why she was gone for such a long time. Will Lainey’s first day be as bad as she imagined or will someone or something surprise her

My mornings are never good. Considering I wake up every morning crying and feeling guilty I guess you could say i'm not a morning person. I throw myself out of my warm bed and get changed. I brush my teeth and I put on a little bit of makeup. I stand looking at myself in the mirror for a while. I decided to go with jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt, people might be suspicious as why i'm wearing a long sleeve shirt in the middle of summer, but I can't have anyone see the scars on my arms. 

I walk downstairs and instantly smell the amazing sent of bacon. "Hey sweetie I made you some bacon and vegimite toast." My mum said sweetly. "You really didn't have to, I mean i'm not really that hungry and I don't like vegimite anymore." I say awkwardly as I scratch my neck. "You must be the only girl in all of Australia you doesn't like vegimite." My mother laughs. I'm thankful that she's cooked breakfast for me, but I can't help but wonder what she's doing up? She's usually always asleep this early in the morning. I start playing with the hem of my t-shirt and look back up at her. "Mum I don't wanna sound rude or anything, but what are you doing up?" I ask hoping I didn't come off looking like a brat. You see my mum and I have drifted heaps since the overdose in November. 

"Well I wanted to wish you luck for your first day back. And I was also hoping." She pauses for a moment. " I was hoping I could drive you in. I know how you always hated me driving you because it was too embarrassing, but I have a shift this morning and your schools on my way. I just want to see my baby off to school." She says loudly. 

I start thinking that the only reason she's up is because she has work. She doesn't really care about me and my first day back, she's just got work. And what will all the other kids think if I show up to school after 3 months of disappearing and i'm with my mum, that's pretty lame if you ask me. I already know there's heaps of rumours about me at school and why I left. But I didn't get to see if anyone actually guessed correctly because after the incident I had to get ride of social media because apparently it was "too toxic" 

I realise I haven't replied to my mother and I quickly say. "I was hoping I could walk to school today, It would help me clear my head. I'm sorry maybe another time." My mother looks at me with a bit of defeat but quickly turns her face into a smile. " Well I best be off now I hope you have a amazing first day back, and call me if anything goes wrong." My mother says as she gives me a kiss on the head. "Okay I love you." I say smiling. "I love you too." And just like that she shuts the door leaving me alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I was walking to school with my airpods in listening to depressing music looking at the ground. I couldn't help but get lost in my own thoughts. Will people still be mean to me? Will I still sit alone? What is everyone going to say once they see me? Will people even care that i'm back? I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a bunch of yelling coming from behind me. I take out my headphones and hear a group of boys calling out my name. I want to the ground to open up and swallow me. 

"LAINEY!" "LAINEY." I hear the boys scream and I instantly want to die. I slowly turn around and face them. Standing behind me are the so called "popular boys" at my school. There's Ben who is smart but a total ass wipe, I remember he would sit next to me in maths last year and always call me stupid for not understanding the work. Standing next to Ben was Archie. I don't even understand why girls like Archie? I mean he's not all there in the head if you know what I mean. Then there was James who I hate with a burning passion. He is a man whore and girls who hook up with him always get slut shamed. I don't even understand why anyone would want to hook up with james his racists, homophobic, sexist and a complete narcissist. 

Then there was Finn. Finn was also funny and nice in primary school but, when he moved to high school he decided he was better than everyone else and became a dickhead. And then finally there was Tate. Tate's mother and my mother were friends and I used to always go to his house when we were young. I was really close with him and his brother Fred but, Tate started distancing himself from me and I guess we drifted apart. I'm still close with Fred but I don't go over to their house anymore I cut everyone off after the overdose. 

"Well, well, well." Ben said with a sly smile on his face. "If it isn't the one and only Lainey Moore." Ben said staring at me. I noticed how much all of them had changed. I mean 3 months doesn't seem like a long time but these boys have grown so much taller and more muscular. I noticed that Tate had changed the most. He was taller, His hair was more blonde if that's even possible, He looked super fit and strong I assumed that must be from all the footy he's been doing. I quickly realise i'm staring at Tate and look away. 

"Huh" I said while I felt my cheeks burning red James looked at me and opened his mouth to speak. "I said where did you go? I mean i'm glad your back. You look...." James paused. "You look.... hot would you like a slice of me because I sure want a slice of you." James said laughing. His friends joined in laughing with him, I don't know why but I was surprise when Tate laughed along too. I thought for some reason he would stand up for me. 

"You are so immature!" I said angrily as I turned away. I was walking away when I heard James yell out after me. "Lainey wait."   
"What" I said annoyed, I just wanted to be left alone. "Nice ass." James said and his friends instantly burst into laughter patting him on the back as if he achieved something. I felt the anger building up inside me, I wanted nothing more than to walk up to James and punch him right in the face. I forced myself to turn around and ignore them. 

When I got to school I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked at the school that inflicted so much pain on me. I had a flashback on when I found out I would be coming here, I was so happy I was so excited to reinvent myself. My parents were so happy for me! You see my school wasn't like other schools my school was a sports school. There was a mainstream where kids would just have a "normal" learning, then there was the sports academy; which I was in, and then finally there was the academic programme which all the smart kids were in. And if you thought that the smart kids, sport kids and mainstream kids got along then your delusional. 

I walked into school and practically ran to my locker. I felt so many eyes on me and I saw so many people whispering as I walked past. Unfortunately for me I didn't have many friends at this school so I didn't have anyone to run to when things went wrong. 

When I first started at this school I had the idea that I was going to reinvent myself and start over, boy oh boy was I wrong. A girl called Jasmine who I went to primary school with went around our new school telling people not to be friends with me because i'm annoying. I mean yeah I was a pretty loud and crazy girl in primary school but wasn't everyone? I don't know why but people listened to Jasmine before even getting to know me so i've been a bit of a loner for a while but I guess I still have 

"LAINEY" I hear someone scream snapping me out of my thoughts. "RILEY" I yell running and giving Riley a massive hug. Riley is my best friend and sometimes feels like my only friend at this pathetic school, I haven't seen or spoken to her since the overdose. "Omg I missed you so much!!! I thought you were dead" Riley squealed while squeezing me into a even tighter hug. "I missed you so much too." I say relieved to see her. "Where the hell have you been. I have so many questions for you missy" Riley says looking me dead in the eye. I start to fidget with the hem of my t-shirt nervously, I didn't even think about what I was going to say if anyone asked me where I was. 

Thankfully the bell rang which meant classes were starting. "I guess you'll never find out." I say with a smirk on my face. "Don't you worry Lainey Moore I will get to the bottom of this" Riley says as I practically run away from her. I look at what classes I have for the day. I mentally groan as I see that maths is first. I hate maths so much. I'll admit maths can be fun when you know what your doing but, I never understand what i'm doing so I always hate it. I dragged myself to the classroom and opened the door. 

"Omg she's back" "What's she doing" "Look at how skinny she's gotten" I heard people whisper as I walked past them to find a seat. I sat down and buried my head in my textbook. I should be used to people whispering about me, It happens everyday. Yet I still get emotional every time, I swear i'm broken. I fight back the tears and try and listen to what the teachers saying. Eventually I zoned out and started thinking about what I was going to tell Riley. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I walked back home listening to my depressing music again. My mum offered to pick me up but I said I wanted to walk. I managed to escape Riley during lunch because she had some club meeting or whatever. 

"How was your day sweetie." My mum asked me once I stepped through the door. "Fine" I lied, I didn't want to tell her about how rude some of the girls were to me. " I'm making your favourite dinner tonight, fried rice how does that sound." My mum sang. " Mum i'm really sorry but I have lots of homework to catch up on I think i'll skip dinner i'm not even that hungry." I say and I instantly feel guilty. "That's fine sweetheart." My mother said. I knew she was upset but I didn't want to sit through a painfully awkward dinner with my mum asking me about school. 

I go upstairs to my bedroom. I close the door behind me and cry. Today was awful, that school was awful, those people were awful. I did the only thing that I knew would instantly make me feel better. I walked into the bathroom and grabbed my blade and started to cut. I pushed down and moved it straight until I felt the sting. I instantly felt calmer, I enjoyed the pain it gave me. I liked to feel like I was in control of my emotions and this was the most effective way I could maintain my feelings. I stand there and watch the blood starting to form from where the lines were.


End file.
